A Spark of Insanity
by Inhuman8
Summary: Grissom was given a 'mysterious' ticket to Jeff Dunham's Spark of Insanity show from his CSI team. You can only imagine what's gonna happen... One-Shot


**AN: I don't own Jeff Dunham, Walter, Achmed, Peanut, Jose, CSI, or any of the CSI characters. (Yeah, I wish…)**

Gil Grissom walked into his office, his head killing him from a day of hard work. His computer was turned off, and what looked like a ticket and a note were sitting on the keyboard.

**JEFF DUNHAM/SPARK OF INSANITY **was printed across the top of the ticket. _Jeff Dunham? _Grissom questioned in his head. _Who the heck is that?_

Grissom next picked up the note. Written in scrawled messy handwriting was, _Humor us, will you? We've blocked every website referencing Jeff on every computer in the building, and Sara's blocked him on your home computer. Don't think about it, and show up on the day, will you? ~Your CSI night shift team_

Grissom rolled his eyes and looked back at the ticket. The date for the…_show, _he guessed, was in two days. _Thanks guys…whatever this was meant for._

**Two days later…**

Grissom opened the door to the theater room where 'Jeff Dunham' was supposed to be performing. He followed his ticket to the very front row on the floor, directly looking into the stage.

"Hey, Griss!" Greg Sanders greeted with his trade marked grin. Grissom looked over to where his CSI's voice came from and everyone from the lab excluding David, Hodges, and Doc Robbins.

"Guys, what is this all about?" Grissom groaned, sitting down in his seat on the end of the row of CSIs.

"We thought you could use a different distraction from the job than roller coasters." Sara smiled. "And Greg showed us Jeff Dunham on the computer."

"Who _is _Dunham?" Grissom exclaimed.

"You'll see," the CSIs simeoultaneouly replied. Grissom sighed and sat back just as blaring music began to play.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we now welcome…_Jeff Dunham!_" A deep voice shouted over the loudspeakers. Everyone in the theater stood up and began cheering and clapping, including Grissom's CSI team. Grissom stood up for a second, feeling kind of out of place for being the only one not knowing who this guy _was, _but clapped nonetheless.

When a man with dark hair and gray eyes grinned and bowed once in the center of the stage, everyone sat down, though still cheering.

"Thank you!" the man shouted above the loud voices of the audience. "You can't fool me…I know every bit of that was for the little guys in the suitcase!"

The audience laughed; Grissom even chuckled a little, still not understanding entirely what was going on.

"But before we begin…"

And with that line every one in the audience was submerged into a _hilarious _comedy act involving a bunch of little dolls…that even Grissom had to laugh at.

"I think people like him so much because _we all _know someone like him…" Jeff continued, about to introduce a puppet. "Whether it is at home, or work…here's Walter!"

The audience madly cheered again and all of the CSIs, minus Sara, looked straight to Grissom when Jeff said, 'we all know someone like him.' _What? _Grissom thought, confused.

"Oh…" Walter growled, followed by yells and cheers. "Shut the hell up!" The audience laughed in reply.

"Good evening, Walter." Jeff cheerily greeted the old and nearly bald puppet. And Walter's act began.

Grissom had to admit, even with the secrecy, and annoying, 'you'll see's his team gave him, they did a good job on picking this.

"You," Walter suddenly pointed to Grissom. "You look a lot like me…what's your name?"

"Grissom."

"And what do you do for a living, _Grissom?_" Walter asked, impatient with the Dunham newcomer.

"I'm a…criminalist." Grissom replied hesitantly.

"So you're a CSI?" Walter asked in his gravelly voice.

"Yeah," Grissom nodded. And Walter then proceeded to make fun of Grissom's job. He didn't mind, surprisingly. He laughed along with everyone else.

"I wondered what it would be like just to sit down and _talk _with one of these guys…" Jeff continued in a short intro to an apparent terrorist. "Luckily, we have one with us right now. This is _Achmed…_the Dead Terrorist."

The crowd cheered with the accompaniment of Grissom this time.

"Good evening, Achmed," Jeff grinned cheekily into the crowd.

"Good evening…_Infidel,_" Achmed replied in a spooky voice. The audience laughed again and Achmed shouted, "Silence! I keel you!"

Nick nudged him in his right side. "Not as bad as you thought?"

"Definitely not." Grissom replied, his eyes not leaving the talking skeleton on the stage.

In the middle of the act, Achmed turned to look at Grissom. "Say, _Grissom_." He hissed, his original spooky voice returning again from the squeaky voice he had come to have. "How did I die?"

"I'm no coroner." Grissom laughed. "But, seeing as you're a suicide bomber…some bombing went wrong and you killed yourself?"

The audience laughed at Grissom, and the CSI team looked over at him enviously. Jeff nodded and grinned, continuing his Achmed skit with Grissom's joke now as a platform.

"I think people of all ages can relate to him…" Jeff continued in another intro. "And that's why he's so popular. Ladies and Gentlemen, Peanut, the Woozle."

Everyone cheered louder than ever. Everyone stood up and cheered until it sounded like their lungs were going to give out.

A purple monkey-thing with one red shoe came out of Jeff's suitcase.

"How you doin' Jeff?" the alien-thing greeted Jeff as soon as it was standing on the table.

"I'm doin' good, Peanut." Jeff replied.

"That'sgoodthat'sgoodthat'sgood!!" Peanut replied insanely quickly in his five-year-old voice. The audience cheered madly once again, and Peanut followed with a laugh.

Not long after, a jalapeno on a stick, named Jose, came out. Grissom laughed through the last of the act until Jose and Peanut went back into the suitcase.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, you have been a _wonderful _audience!" Jeff called out among the screams. "Good night!"

Grissom and his team stood up to clap one last time and then began to leave.

"Grissom," Jeff called from the corner of the stage as he jumped down and walked over. "I just wanted to say thanks for letting us make fun of you tonight."

Jeff held out his hand and Grissom shook it, nodding. "No problem," he replied. "I get made fun of daily by my team." He gestured to the waiting CSIs, who all looked in awe at Grissom's luck.

"You want anything as payment?" Jeff asked, grinning.

"Can I have an autograph for each of my team?"

Nick, Greg, Sara, and Catherine looked shocked at Grissom's question.

"No problem." Jeff replied as he handed over five copies of his 'Spark of Insanity' DVD, each quickly hand-autographed on the front of the case. Greg immediately jumped to Grissom's side and held out his hands in waiting anticipation. Jeff laughed and held his hand out to Greg; who shook it and then stared at his hand.

"Never washing this again…" he whispered as Grissom handed him his copy of the DVD.

"You better!" Catherine laughed. "You're a CSI!"

"Anyway, thanks again," Jeff said, his grin holding before he jumped back onto the stage to pack up everything.

"We didn't even think you'd show up, Griss!" Nick grinned at his DVD.

"Well, you know…a Spark of Insanity always helps."

**AN: If you HAVEN'T seen Jeff Dunham…watch it now!!! If you have, watch it again!!! I know this is short, but I just felt like writing something Dunham related. I've never been to any of his live shows (hoping to this fall!!) so I dunno if any of this is right. Just deal!**


End file.
